By Angela Te Roller | Head of Quality Assurance, CogniEnhance
Inspired by CogniEnhance’s “Smart but Stuck” webinar
Join us for practical insights into how children think, why they get stuck, and how adults can help them work things out for themselves.
You KNOW the child is smart. So why do they seem so stuck?
- Losing their place on the page
- Forgetting instructions
- Rushing through the work
- Giving up when things get tough
Have you ever watched a child breeze through one activity and then completely fall apart over something that looks just as simple?
They can explain the rules of a game but cannot work out the next move. They know their spelling words at home but suddenly cannot remember them during a test. They insist, “I can’t do it!” before they have really given themselves a chance to try.
And perhaps, if we’re honest, we’ve all been tempted to jump in with a little help.
“Stop daydreaming.”
“Think carefully.”
“Come on, you know this!”
We mean well. We want children to succeed, and we know they are capable. But what if the difficulty isn’t that a child doesn’t know enough? What if the real challenge is happening in the thinking process itself?
Sometimes, a child doesn’t need us to give them the answer. They need help discovering how to find it.
Being smart doesn’t mean everything feels easy
Children’s learning involves much more than remembering facts or getting the right answer. Every time a child tackles a new challenge, several cognitive processes may be working together.
They need to focus on relevant information, hold instructions in mind, recognise patterns, consider alternatives, manage frustration and decide what to do next.
These abilities are part of the broader set of skills often called executive functions. Metacognition, the ability to notice and reflect on one’s own thinking, also plays an important role in learning.
Let’s imagine a child building a tower with blocks. The tower keeps falling over.
One child might keep adding more blocks, hoping for a different result. Another might stop, examine the base and try changing the arrangement. Both children are engaging with the task, but they are approaching the problem differently.
The second child is beginning to monitor what is happening, recognise that a strategy isn’t working and make an adjustment.
That is valuable learning, even before the tower stands upright.
The same principle applies to reading, mathematics, sports, friendships and everyday problem-solving. A child may understand the information but struggle to organise it, apply it in a new situation or persist when the first attempt fails.
This is why it’s so important to look beyond the answer.
Want to understand the thinking skills behind children’s learning in more depth?
When a child gets stuck, look for the thinking
Imagine a child working on a maths problem. They stare at the page, rub out their work and finally announce, “I’m bad at maths.”
It’s easy to assume they don’t understand the concept. But several different things could be happening.
Perhaps they have forgotten one of the instructions. Perhaps they know the steps but cannot decide which one to use. Perhaps they are so worried about getting the answer wrong that they struggle to concentrate. Or perhaps they have learned one method so well that they cannot yet see another way to approach the problem.
The visible behaviour is the same: the child is stuck.
The underlying reasons may be very different.
This is an important distinction for parents and educators. When we respond only to the behaviour, we may miss the skill that needs support.
Instead of immediately correcting the child, we can become curious.
“What part feels tricky?”
“Can you show me what you’ve tried so far?”
“What do you notice when you look at the problem again?”
These questions help us understand where the thinking is getting tangled. They also give children an opportunity to become more aware of their own learning.
What does this look like in practice?
Imagine a child has been asked to solve the following problem: 24 + 19 = ?
The child writes 24 + 19 = 313, adding the two numbers without regrouping. They look at the answer, frown and say, “I can’t do this!”
Here is how an adult might move from simply noticing the difficulty to offering useful support.
Step 1: Observe before interpreting.
The adult notices that the child has written 313 and is becoming frustrated. Rather than immediately assuming the child doesn’t understand addition, they pause. The child may understand the basic operation but need help with place value or regrouping.
Step 2: Ask a question that reveals the child’s thinking.
Instead of saying, “No, that’s wrong. You need to carry the one,” the adult asks:
“Can you talk me through how you worked that out?”
The child explains that 2 + 1 = 3 and 4 + 9 = 13, so they wrote the answers next to each other.
Now the adult has useful information. The child can add the numbers but needs support understanding what happens when the ones add up to more than nine.
Step 3: Offer a small, targeted prompt.
The adult might ask:
“You’ve noticed that 4 + 9 makes 13. How many tens and ones are in 13?”
If the child needs more help, the adult could use counters or draw a group of ten and three extra ones.
Step 4: Give the child another opportunity to think.
Once the child has worked through the regrouping, the adult might ask:
“Now that you’ve tried it this way, what would you do with 26 + 18?”
The child has an opportunity to apply the idea rather than simply copy the adult’s answer.
Notice what happened. The adult observed, asked, listened, offered a relevant prompt and then gave the child another opportunity to practise.
The adult did not withhold help. They made the help responsive to what the child actually needed.
Of course, not every difficulty will be solved with a question. Sometimes children need explicit instruction, a worked example, reassurance or a break. The point is to understand the difficulty before deciding what kind of support will be most useful.
The goal isn’t to make every challenge easy. It’s to help children develop ways of working through challenges.
Learn how to observe, prompt and support children’s thinking step by step.
The power of pausing before you react
There is a principle in yoga that has always resonated with me: awareness comes before change.
In yoga practice, we learn to notice what is happening without immediately judging it or forcing it to be different. We observe the breath, the body’s response and the mind’s tendency to rush ahead.
We can bring that same awareness into how we support children.
Consider a child trying to balance on one leg. They wobble, lose their balance and immediately want to give up.
We could tell them to stand still, demonstrate the posture again or insist that they try harder. But we could also invite them to pause.
“Notice where your foot is.”
“Feel what happens when you look at one spot.”
“Would you like to try again, a little more slowly?”
The child begins to observe, adjust and experiment. The wobble becomes information rather than proof of failure.
This is not about teaching children yoga poses. It is about applying a useful principle: when we pause long enough to notice what is happening, we create space for a different response.
Self-observation is a valuable practice. In everyday learning, we can encourage a similar habit by helping children notice their strategies, recognise their reactions and reflect on what they might do differently.
And there is another lesson here: we do not need to judge every attempt by its immediate outcome. A child who makes a mistake and learns something from it has not wasted that attempt. They have gathered information they can use next time.
Help without taking over
One of the trickiest parts of supporting children is knowing when to step in and when to step back.
Too little support can leave a child overwhelmed. Too much can unintentionally take away the very thinking opportunity we want to create.
Imagine a child trying to complete a puzzle. They cannot find the piece they need and begin to get frustrated.
We might be tempted to point straight to the correct piece. The puzzle gets completed, everyone feels better, and we move on.
But what has the child had an opportunity to practise?
Now imagine a different response.
“Let’s have a look. What does the picture on the box tell us?”
“Which pieces have a similar colour?”
“Where have you already looked?”
We are still helping. We are simply directing the child’s attention towards useful information rather than doing the thinking for them.
This kind of support can help children practise visual discrimination, attention, reasoning and problem-solving, depending on the task.
The same approach works beyond puzzles.
When a child cannot find their school shoes, we can help them think through where they last wore them. When they struggle to begin a writing assignment, we can help them identify the first small step. When a game isn’t going their way, we can encourage them to pause and consider another strategy.
The principle is simple: offer enough support to keep the child engaged, while leaving room for them to do the thinking.
And remember, stepping back doesn’t mean leaving a child to struggle indefinitely. Sometimes children need a demonstration, a clearer instruction, a break or more direct teaching. The art is in noticing what kind of support will help them take the next step.
Mistakes are information, not identity
Listen carefully to the language children use when something goes wrong.
“I’m stupid.”
“I never get anything right.”
“I can’t do this.”
These statements turn a difficult moment into a judgement about the whole child. Over time, that can influence how willing a child is to attempt unfamiliar tasks.
We cannot promise children that every challenge will end in success. Nor do we need to pretend that mistakes are always fun.
What we can do is help them interpret difficulty differently.
Instead of saying, “You’re so clever; you got it right!”, we might say, “You noticed that your first idea wasn’t working and tried another approach.”
Instead of “See, I told you that you could do it!”, we could ask, “What helped you work it out?”
The difference is subtle but important. We are drawing attention to the process, not simply praising the outcome.
We are helping children recognise that learning involves trying, noticing, adjusting and trying again.
This doesn’t mean abandoning praise. Encouragement matters. But specific feedback about a child’s strategy, effort and decisions gives them more useful information than general praise alone. It helps them identify what they can repeat or change when they face their next challenge.
Build the skills to turn everyday mistakes into meaningful learning moments.
Three questions that can change the learning moment
You don’t need special equipment, complicated activities or an hour of uninterrupted time to encourage better thinking. Small, everyday interactions can provide opportunities to practise.
The next time a child gets stuck, try these three questions.
1. “What do you notice?”
Before offering a solution, invite the child to look, listen or observe. What information is available? What has changed? What might they have missed?
2. “What have you tried?”
Help the child identify their current strategy. This gives you insight into their thinking and helps them recognise that they are already doing something, even if it hasn’t worked yet.
3. “What could you try next?”
Encourage the child to consider an alternative. If they aren’t sure, offer a small hint or two possible starting points rather than immediately supplying the answer.
These questions are not a test, and they should never become another source of pressure. Sometimes a child will answer immediately. Sometimes they will need time, reassurance or a little help getting started.
That is perfectly fine.
The purpose is not to make every conversation a lesson. It is to create opportunities for children to become more aware of how they approach problems.
The real goal is bigger than getting it right
We all want children to learn, grow and experience the confidence that comes with mastering something new. But if we focus only on correct answers, we risk overlooking the thinking skills that help children learn independently.
A child who can memorise an answer may still need support applying it in a different context. A child who solves a problem quickly may still need to learn how to respond when their first strategy fails. And a child who struggles today may simply need a different explanation, a manageable next step or more opportunities to practise.
Our job is not to remove every obstacle from a child’s path. It is to help them develop the skills, confidence and flexibility to navigate those obstacles with increasing independence.
Perhaps the next time a child says, “I can’t do it,” we can pause before responding.
Take a breath. Become curious. Look beyond the answer.
Ask what the child is noticing, what they have tried and what might help them move forward.
Because sometimes the most valuable moment in learning is not the moment a child finds the right answer.
It is the moment they discover that they have a way to work towards it.
Taking the thinking further with CogniEnhance & Woodmont
At CogniEnhance, we believe that the thinking behind a task matters just as much as the answer itself. By helping children notice, reflect, adjust and try again, we can support the development of cognitive skills they can carry into everyday life and future challenges.
These principles also underpin the CogniEnhance EDU220 Practitioner Programme, offered to Woodmont students. The programme explores the thinking behind children’s activities and how adults can support cognitive development through purposeful practice, observation and appropriate prompting.
It’s not simply about choosing an activity for a child to complete. It’s about understanding the thinking skills an activity may engage, recognising where a child needs support and knowing how to encourage the next step without automatically giving away the answer.
Want to explore these ideas further?
Join the CogniEnhance and Woodmont WhatsApp Community alongside our webinars, where you can connect with the learning experience and take part in a FREE Q&A with CogniEnhance trainers.
Because when we understand the thinking behind the task, we can do more than help a child get the answer right. We can help them build skills for the next challenge, too.
Ready to take the next step?
Brought to you by CogniEnhance and Woodmont.